She's Gone

My grandma passed away this morning. I can wrap my brain around it, but not my heart.

It's very hard to reconcile with the fact that she's not here anymore. I know I've had time to come to terms with the fact that she, that NO ONE lives forever, but that was just in a hypothetical context. This is real...too real. Granted, since her stroke she wasn't the Grandma I always knew, but a piece of her was better than none of her.

She shaped so much of what I know, what I rebel against, what I fight for...who I am. My heart is a little broken today.

From Boy to Man

The boy and his pops

I can't believe my son is 14 years old. It seems like just yesterday he was watching Barney videos and drinking from a sippy cup. Looking at him now...knowing the person he is...it just confirms what I've known for 14 years. God made me the caregiver of someone very special. Someone who showed me what a gift life is. For that I will always be grateful.

Happy birthday to a singular young man. I am honored to know you.

I love you, Bubba!

Mom~

SHUT...THE HELL...UP

If you are 30lbs overweight, should you really be criticizing the person who is 40lbs overweight?

Jesus said: First remove the beam from your own eye before you remove the splinter from your neighbors'.

Janine says: Shut your piehole, you hypocrite.

Damn it, Kanye!

If you didn't see Kanye's latest "stage invasion" I'm sure you've heard about it by now. I'm over trying to figure out why the man does the things he does. He's quickly becoming a parody of himself with his over-inflated ego and strange outbursts. I mean...there's eccentric and then there's pure, unadulterated arrogance and I think Kanye suffers from the latter. He couldn't just stand backstage and say "Beyonce was robbed"? He just HAD to go out onstage and steal Taylor Swift's shine 'cause why???

I think Kanye West needs to do two things:

1. Go to a psychiatrist and asked to be put on a cocktail of ritalin and prozac.

2. Take a really, really, really, really, REALLY long vacation.

Best way to end the summer.

Yesterday the boy and I went to my BFF Tira's house for a Labor Day celebration. All the BFF's were there w/husbands in tow as well as Tira and her husband's family. It was such a great time. Great company, great food, lots of laughs, jello shots and the best berry and pineapple martinis I've ever tasted. (I'm over 21 so I am allowed to partake) The kids were relegated to either the outdoors, or the "media room" which was just a room w/a television and a Playstation 3 (what more could a kid want, right?). I wish I had pics to post, but I forgot my camera.

I love hanging out with my best good girlfriends...we've all been close for about 10 years now and I just adore them. They are my counselors, my sisters and my friends. We've all got our own lives, but we make time for each other...either via a weekly IM chat, email, or facebook. And when we get together we have good laughs and great conversation. Friendships should be edifying, supportive and enriching, and we definitely let each other be exactly who we are and we're evolved enough to accept and love each other anyway. I'm definitely blessed to have these amazing women in my life.

I Miss the Boy :-(

My offspring has been away visiting his dad and his grandparents for about a month now. It's funny...I was so excited for the alone time but now I'm thinking it's enough now. And I'm a little unnerved by that. I never wanted to be the type of mom who has and has no desire for an identity outside of the role of mom. Don't get me wrong, my son is the most important person in my life, but "happy mom, happy kids". How can you be a happily functioning mother if you can't find pleasure in doing things that don't involve your children. There may be people out there that will think I'm a less than stellar parent(kiss my arse, by the way) but I just don't think that's the way to raise a little person to be a happy, fully functioning adult. THEY have to see YOU independent, happy, content, peaceful, satisfied in order to identify what those states of being look like. Right?

Having said all that, I do miss my kid. I miss hanging out with him at Border's, going to our favorite barbeque joint for lunch, and asking him about girls in order to make him squirm. The apartment has a different energy when he's not here. It's darker and has a little less life.

Saturday can't get here fast enough. Maybe I'll take him to Dave's for lunch and we can shoot the breeze and I can ask him about the cute girls he met in the ATL.

Is it just me??

Am I the only person who doesn't get this guys appeal? I mean...he's scrawny, his hair looks greasy and he looks like he only bathes on demand. That's going the right way for a bladder infection, ladies...if you get my meaning.

I'm sure he's a lovely and charming person, but really, what's all the fuss?